Archive for the ‘B-Side’ Category

Sex in Brazil: radiant virgins Kaka and Adriana Lima

August 18, 2008

In a world debouched by media exerting sex as magnetic bait to sell deodorant or soup or everything, where sex for teens is the primary benchmark of belonging and becoming cool,  two unlikely virgins emerge like fresh white stars over the Babelic electronic towers, soft radiant demure could-be-gods of sex: soccer crack Kaka and uber sexy Adriana Lima. The brazilian superstars, each at the top of their business, choose to remain virgin until marriage, complying to religious beliefs.

Although Kaka has already probed the wells of sex, he did so only after marriage, 2 years ago, at the age of 24.  And stepped up to Gisele Bundchen calling the Church’s teachings on sex “ridiculous”.

“Today no one is a virgin when they get married … show me someone who’s a virgin!”

Well Adriana Lima is, at least she says so:”Sex is for after marriage,” she explained. “They (men) have to respect that this is my choice. If there’s no respect, that means they don’t want me.”

It seems almost impossible for her to be still a virgin, a cosmic contradiction, as she is sort of a sexual masterpiece, oozing and overflowing with the kundlini river of erotic manifestation. “The World´s Most Voluptous Virgin” is scheduled to marry NBA serb player Marko Jaric in 2009.

The Timberwolf´s basketball player is certainly getting the best cake of the world, and he is pretty fucking ugly, but his luck is overarching, and like a wolf with a lamb he is going to have the feast of all time.

Probably Adriana Lima and Kaka should have coupled together: both are from Brazil, both are absolutely good looking, both are rich and famous, both are religious, both are about the same age and both are (wre at the time) virgins…

Adriana Lima´s 5 sexiest pictures in the internet here: Raramour

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The Montauk Monster internet mystery

August 1, 2008

Th Montauk Monster a viral alien sweeping the web. An altered state of  mind created by ad-driven media.

A chtonian rhino-dog, a raccon-siren-salamander. A Borges meets Kafka creature. A dark governmentstein brood, mutant to reproduce and haunt the houses of the Hamptons.

Is this an apparition of Xolotl, the dog of venusdark Tezcatlipoca, the aztec smoking mirror God.

Who ripped who?

is it all to proof cryptoids are real?full monster story at Raramour

Bar Rafaeli in a red or pink bikini: St. Tropez alien goddess

July 31, 2008

Sexy Israelian Bar Rafaeli recently lapped on the beach of St. Tropez, letting go in the waves with a red or pink bikini and drank the sun. She confessed she has been genetically altered by Rael, the french alien, founder of thhe raelians.  “My name and nationality are all anagrams”. Like in the movie Rosemary’s Baby, when Mia Farrow discovers that “they are all witches”. And Leo Di Caprio is probably just part of the experiment. His girfriend Bar, people from Alcione.com say,  is a light emissary from the Pleiades cluster, part of a holographic-sexy seduction to lead the word into giving bue gold.

NEW BAR REFEALI NAKED FOR ESQUIRE (WITH STEPHEN KING BODY INKS)

Natasha Poly speaks on Russian Mafia model involvement

July 17, 2008

Victoria Secret coquette Natsha Porly told The New York Star tha she is aware of the involvement of the Russian mafia in the world of fashion.

“I know of some models who have been approached by some strange mob people, who are Russian… but I don´t know what goes on between them. You hear rumors hear and there, but nothing certain… I guess that´s why they are the “mob”,  because they do things in secret and without anybody really knowing what´s going on”

Top model Natasha Polevshchikova (Poly) denied any personal involvment with the Russian Mafia. But she did say she knew Ruslana Korshunova “she was a good friend “and “one of the sweetest girls”,  and that “she would have never killed herself, she was in love with life , always speaking of the sun and of how great things were” but that “lately she did seem to be behaving strangely, always looking around as if she was being followed”.

Ruslana Korshunova´s body was buried in Moscow last week.

Supermodel Ruslana Korshunova’s suicide conspiracy relation of events

Kate Moss topless on a yacht listening to Aphex Twin´s dolphins

July 14, 2008

Kate Moss naked from the top shows her perefect tits as she promenades in a luxury yacht along Sardinia. Moss is reportedly accompanied by Richard James (Aphex Twin) , who is working on a new material described as “celestial glitch music”, inspired perhaps on the supermodel. According to The Mirror, Aphex Twin only leaves the inside cabin, where he has his machines, late at night to have some strange off board contact with a pack of phsopshorecent dolphins.  Kate Moss has been spotted taken naked swims with the glimmering cetaceans, apparently motivated by Aphex Twin  who is “driving her to new boundaries”. This moonlight swims, Moss lapping nude in the water and having some type of  sexy energy intercourse with the dolphins are being recorded by the master of idm, Aphex Twin, to be edited and reprocessed in his new album.

Max Jacobson “Dr Feelgood”

July 14, 2008

 

Few days ago i heard this urban young princess tell that every sunday you should remember a person who is not physically by your side during that day. This sounded like a really sweet nostalgia ritual, we are sensible guys inside here, so  this last riveron sunday was dedicated to the memory of “Miracle Max”.

Max Jacobson, also known as Dr Feelgood, was the german born medicine-man who administrated huge amounts of amphetamine to lots of distinguished patients and celebrities. We was a member of John F. Kennedy´s medical staff, and the president was told to be one of his most loyal patients. Frank Sinatra, Tennessee Williams, Marilyn Monroe Anthony Quinn, and Truman Cappote were also friends of Max and his little white happy pills.

Fuck the iPhone

July 11, 2008

A worldwide frenzy triggered by the launching sale of a supposed metagadget, like if they were selling the lapis philosophorum (the philosophers stone) in the stores. People sleeping in the streets to be the first to get the iPhone and flashes and media deployed to capture the happy customer snowball bliss. Of course there is not much in the summer agenda so… 

Everywhere in the world hooked techies responding to the dealers offer, a cheaper phone and a much more expensive hook, worldwide telephone companies exploiting the fees, playing on the bait. 

Hack the iPhone. Hack the world.

At lunch today yuppies displaying heir faux chic magnet and receiving 3g radiation full time

Pirate the iPhone. Hack the iPhone. Hack the world. Hackasha. 

www.fuckiphone.com

 

Well apparently Apple know how to market. 

And the whole world is giving blowjobs to Steve Jobs.

Poem for Ruslana Korshunova

July 10, 2008
ruslana korshunova

unearthly korshunova

Here at the riveron we encouraged our readers a few days ago to send us poems inspired by the sweet-but-sad Kazakh angel Ruslana Korshunova, who might have been victimized by the russian mafia. Since then we´ve recieved lots of poetic contributions inspired by our long-haired blue-vortex muse. Here´s one of our favorites that arrived directly from Belize:

Statuesque
 
She smiles, she wades into forever
An ethereal swan princess
Graces at last luminous lagoons of cobalt;
Infatuated angels peep from the clouds 
To photograph a last glimpse of the sovereign belle
As she walks, and walks, 
And no one touches her 
The faithful sun is her solace, her bridegroom
Her soft peach skin reads epics with him
Sweet sour saccharine verses, distant reveries,
She held his hand once in Paris, said,
“I love you! Do you?”
And he blushed torrents of Cabernet Sauvignon.
Her silhouette now trails into the reticent night
The enamored moon still tells tales to the angel
Of the statuesque Russian damsel
Who walked with so much perfection
She seemed unreal, mythical
Her beautiful face, a resurrected portrait
Exhumed from a Romantic novelist’s illusion,
A priceless diamond doomed for its greatness.
Her feline eyes seduced the coquettish moonlight
That kissed her long hair with almond ambers.
Her striking fairytale pulchritude, 
Immortal face of a goddess, absconds
Slowly turns into a masterpiece of rare porcelain
That now takes away the dazzling incandescence
That once radiated New York’s soul of darkness.

Osmer E. Balam 

On Conspiracy Theory:Anton Wilson, Hakim Bey, Media Mafia

July 5, 2008

The problem with conspiracy theory is to believe that there is one particular group of human beings who are in control of my destiny. That’s a philosophical extreme to which I don’t  wanna go.  On the other side it’s obvious that people do conspire. That there are conspiracies, secret internal linkforces behind outward political shows of power.  It is clear that there is not one single known politician in America who has any internal linkreal power at all. They are simply working for big corporations and economic interests like oil, or the global market itself. The best model is, that there are many, at least several conspiracies and that they interlock, that they compete, that they melt into each other, that they separate from each other. If we wanna know what’s going on, if we wanna understand history as it is happening we should know something about these conspiracies.  Again critical consciousness is a useful tool here. -Hakim Bey

The conspiracy theory that’s my favorite, is the one I invented myself.-Robert Anton Wilson

The problem with conspiracy theories is that, like in Borges’s metafiction, when you invent them they run the the risk of becoming true.  Rupert Marduk “The Quantum Joker” 

You know the CIA slang for somebody they’re using who doesn’t know he’s being used? They call that a “useful idiot”. Those writers who get exclusives from congressmen, and they have no idea the congressman is working for the CIA and the exclusive is a myth they’ve invented that they want to get into print. If the journalist takes it, they’re a useful idiot. So of course I have to ask myself occasionally, have I become a useful idiot yet? (laughs).-Robert Anton Wilson

“Nothing is true; everything is permitted- The Naked Lunch

Fedor Dostoievsky said that ” if god doesn’t exist, then everything is allowed”, which put him in an ethical crisis. But how about if we put it this way “god exists, because everything is allowed” ( or: god is everything is allowed) so everything(god the dog) is possible, and even, “god exists making all possibilities exist”. God is his own favorite conspiracy theory. In a metadata universe all code unfolds itself into real-ness. Everything one dreams, thinks or writes translates into all the languages of existence. Permanent forking paths create gardens of reality. This is the divinity inscription in page source code: our cosmic trigger.

Is this true? maybe. Does maybe (and would have been) exist? maybe  

 

you are dead and alive

you’ve already fucked that girl on tv

you have killed your father

you have been Tiresias

you have been Donkie Kong jr.

you have smoked crack with Alf

you have eaten more, and faster, hot-dogs than Joey Chestnut

you are having dinner with Ruslana Korshunova 

you are happy

Kate Moss voodoo hair extensions sells at eBay

July 4, 2008

Brit provocateur holograph vixen Kate Moss blonde hair extension that she reputedly lost in Berlin has been auctioned on eBay for 805 euros (1,264 dollars), Bild newspaper said on Friday.

Moss, 34, shed the hairpiece while trying to duck paparazzi as she returned to the plush Hotel Adlon after a night out in the German capital last month, according to press reports.

The Ebay buyer Aristan Niameri is an inhabitant of Haiti, one of the cradles of modern voodoo wizards. We hope sexy Kate is protected of the malevolent influencesof the caribbean soul swapping sorcerers and does not start to suffer telekinetic batteries on her lush body.

Happy Birthday Ruslana Korhsunova (she would have been 21 today)

July 2, 2008

Today Ruslana Korshunova would have turned 21 and would have been able to drink. All though as abcnews interview´s claim the “Russian Rapuznel” was already in a heavy vodka drinking relationship. (It would be nice to stroll through the park and have a couple of drinks with her and just hold hands as it gets warm). ABC lists this drinking (drugs? also) as part of the depressive aura binge that drove her to death. The article seems a bit tailor made to blame the ugly and lonely side of the fashion world: the depraved photographers, the big city, susbstance abuse, etc. It seems exactly what the Russsian Mafia wants to hear. Still we won´t go into that subject in respect for Ruslana’s birthday (scroll down for the post that explains the conspiracy theory).

Angelic silver dust layerd cake in heaven for her.

We encourage users to write a poem for her and send it to us, so we publish the best ones riveronmirror@gmail.com

happy birthday Ruslana river on mirror Fairy Queen

Riveronmedia has made one the most comphrehensive picture display of Ruslana for her birthday.

Ruslana´s astrochart